Notice to the Evil Sherriff Trystan:

[mightyjesse]

Your secret is out. You are not truly as evil as advertized. While you may think that the addition of a fearsome, slavering, sharp-toothed mammal to your household may make you seem tough, it has been noted that you have a soft spot for clever little mammals that enjoy snuggling.

Not to worry, however. I shall teach you how to implement the most heinous command known to the ears of Man: “MAMA! Sic BALLS!” Then you and your faithful – if slightly dippy - new companion shall be truly respected throughout all of Christendom.


**And in case it is ever in doubt – You are truly saving my butt on this one, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are now the guardian of my most cherished friend and companion, and quite thoroughly my hero.

Comments

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We really need to teach Ista the part of that where she doesn't actually slam her head into anybody's crotch.

Mostly she just does it to timprov once in awhile when she is too caught up in being glad to see him to notice that he might not appreciate that exact form of affection.

[mightyjesse.livejournal.com]

The trick to the whole thing is that Mama is a LASER GUIDED dog... If you just put the red-dot discreetly on someone's nether-parts, she will stand in front of them, watching their "parts" dilligently and occassionally tagging them with the tip of her nose if she thinks the dot is "messing with her." It's decidedly amusing to watch a person's discomfort as they try to figure out WHY the dog is STARING AT THEIR GROIN from a dignified distance of 4 inches... It's obvious that she's not a crotch-sniffer, because her stance is ALERT!! GUARD!! rather than curious...

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Ista follows Red Dot, too, but with a bit more vigor. She would likely slap the person's nether-parts with her paw to try to make Red Dot move so she and Red Dot could play again. It's a very small paw, and yet.

[mightyjesse.livejournal.com]

Heh... Mama USED to do that, only she has been whacked on the head by a number of displeased individuals after she "punched them in the balls."

Thus she knows that she should politely wait for the reddot to move to an inanimate object before attacking again. (This has been tested on multiple occasions by people who thought it would be funny to shine the reddot on the Cat. The Cat would give you the DIRTIEST LOOK EVER, and the dog would just stand there whining and dripping drool on the cat until the dot moved...)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We just don't shine Red Dot on people's genitalia, mostly. People are less comfortable whacking a 12-pound dog, and rightly so, I think. The line between "hey, cut that out" and "oops, sorry, you probably liked that dog" is far thinner. She has only rammed T in the crotch about three times this year, so it's not like it's a frequent problem.

I am so very glad she is past most of the puppy stage and into full-grown dogness.

[mightyjesse.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... Well it wasn't so much a constant that we were putting the reddot on people's genetalia, so much as we were having a good time shining the reddot on people in any location where it would be VERY SURPRISING to be hit with a cold, wet, dognose.

So, the back of the knee, the back of the neck, the Cat, the bottom of a bare foot, the kidneys...

Maggie is already 2, but persists in a good bit of puppy-ness. Particularly the flopity cuddly boneless snuggliness of puppydom. I don't mind... But sooner or later someone is going to have to explain to her that Dobermans are NOT lapdogs.