Fluff, Dreck, and Flotsam

Well, I'm going to need a place for my moving plans to congeal, so it might as well be here where you all can see them and understand why I'm LOSING MY DAMN MIND.

The Schedule as of Now:

• Friday and Saturday:

Last two days at Club Royale. My dancer name shall be retired and my girls are telling me to expect cake and the worst champagne hangover of my career. I still need to come up with something witty to leave behind on the "Wall of Shame." (Feature dancers, long timers, and famous bands that have visited sign the wall in the DJ booth before they move on.)

Sunday: I was toying with the idea of packing up pell-mell on Friday and Saturday so that I could start the long drive to Madison on Sunday, but I still haven't asked Mark (my boss) if he'll need me to be in town for the week of Thanksgiving. If I don't get permission to leave on Sunday, I'll be grumbling and running random errands, like looking for a shit-load of boxes to dump my book collection in.

Monday Night: I currently have an appointment at the car dealership to have the cigarette lighter in my car repaired. Not having one has been driving me bananas, being as my entire gadget collection seems to require a car charger... My iPod, my cell phone, my GPS, hell - even my laptop. I figure having that sucker working will be something of a necessity if I'm to keep from going MAD on the 12 hour drive from Pittsburgh to Madison. And yes, you are correct... this WOULD represent a major flaw in my proposed timeline. I cannot get my lighter repaired on Monday in Pittsburgh if I am already in Madison on Sunday. This would disappoint me greatly, considering the number of fucking appointments I've had to make in order to get the damn thing fixed.

Monday to Wednesday: The daily grind of work. This would be so much better if I can somehow arrange for it to be done from Madison instead of Pittsburgh. Again... this is up to Mark. Mark is a very accomodating guy, but I don't want to abuse that accomodation, just because I'm a pussy and don't like sleeping on my own sofa instead of wrapped naked in the arms of my lover. One could ask why I'm couch surfing in my own house, but that's a long story that has no business taking up space in a bullet pointed list.

Wednesday Night: If I don't get permission to leave town on Sunday, then I will be driving all night Wednesday to get to Madison in time for Thanksgiving. I will be a basket case who drools in the mashed potatos and falls asleep with her face in the yams. This would neither be attractive nor ideal, being as I am still attempting to make a good impression on Zig's Momma. (Please note that Siegfried's Momma is probably the sweetest woman EVER, and it is probably not necessary to make a good impression for her to like me. However, I have noticed that sweet people often get short-changed on this front, just because they ARE sweet. That is simply not fair, and thus I shall try like she hates my guts anyway.)

Sunday: Leave my poor little Kia in Madison to be snowed upon, and fly out of the Milwaukee airport headed for Boston. Rent a car in Boston and drive to my week long training in Framington, MA. Spend a week in a hotel in the middle of god-only-knows-where, wracking up $120/night in hotel charges on my credit card while bludgeoning my brain with the why's and wherefor's of the most illogical software known to man. Try not to go crazy thinking about the number of things that I SHOULD be doing in Pittsburgh. Try to remember to write down any of the vitally important things that I will undoubtedly remember to do only when I'm so far from Pittsburgh that I can't possibly get them done.

Friday: Return rental car, fly from Boston to Pittsburgh. Don't forget to arrange for someone to pick me up at the airport. Pack up the house LIKE MAD. (Mostly it's just gonna be the implements of doom in my kitchen, since Zig really doesn't cook much, and the contents of my office in it's entirety. Nothing terrible, but I have a feeling there are going to be an annoyingly large number of "fiddly bits" that don't really categorize well when it comes time to decide which box they should be packed in...)

Saturday: Rent a UHaul van and toss all the boxes in it. Drive to Madison AGAIN. 12. Fucking. Hours. In. A. Car. Arrive, toss all the boxes back out of the truck and return it. Have victory sex. Go to the club and greet all my new friends, looking like I got hit by a wrecking ball. Return to my new home.

Sunday: Try to unpack enough of my boxes that I will be functional for work on Monday morning.