Saddest:

[mightyjesse]

Not that anyone will have noticed (hopefully), but I got a phone call that stopped me in my tracks yesterday. My friend Bobby died.

My brain doesn't really know what to make of it. He wasn't that much older than me, for goodness sake. And he was so strong and loud and healthy.

I'm kinda coming up emotionally blank on this one. I know I will be sad eventually, but my gut still hasn't really accepted the fact that he's gone and we'll never sit beside a fire again trading stories and getting drunk of the half gallon of liquor we're SUPPOSED to be GUARDING. (No place safer than in our bellies...)

He found me at the edge of a Timberwolf party 11 years ago and introduced me to pretty much everyone I know in the Swamp. He is probably one of the biggest reasons I kept coming to Pennsic year after year. Had he not introduced me to Kindred and Timberwolf and Rogues, I would not have had so much fun as to invest all the time and energy into this SCA hobby of mine as I have. I would never have met my Friediness.

I haven't seen him around Pennsic for years now... And then just last year, he came back. And we talked and talked. We had lots of catching up to do. I told him what I had been doing for the last 7 years, and he shared with me likewise. Trading stories and experiences and accomplishments, we renewed our friendship last War, and it was one of the few things that actually went RIGHT for me this year. Had I known it was going to be the last time I talked to him, I don't think I would have said anything differently. For that, I will be eternally grateful. He mused that he was proud of the woman I grew into, and I told him that I was pleased with the family man and knight he had become. Gruff though it may have been, we told each other how we felt, and our hearts smiled. We thought we would meet again next year, and even made plans for it. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but I've never really been good at those anyway.

I probably won't feel any way about this for a while yet. Probably not until Pennsic. I will go to a Timberwolf party and he will not be there. Then maybe I will cry.

I will save up stories about him, and when his daughter is old enough, I will tell her. Bobby would like that, I think.

Comments

[krkhst.livejournal.com]

5 years or so ago, I had a similiar visit. My best friend had died in a car wreck. We hadn't been able to be in person for a year or two before I lost her, and when I heard the news, I just couldn't feel anything. No tears, no pain, no joy, nothing - blank. Shock I think it is. It takes awhile to feel real, takes awhile to sink in, and now, while I've accepted her death, there are days when a song comes on the radio and I find tears in my eyes because I'm thinking of her. I understand where you are, and if you later feel the need to talk about him here, I will read, and here, and enjoy the person he was through your stories.

[mightyjesse.livejournal.com]

Right now they're creating a memory book for his daughter. I would love to contribute, but unfortunately, due to the nature of our association, I'm having trouble coming up with a memory of Bobby that would be appropriate for an 8 year old. *sigh* Hopefully, something will come to me in the next couple of days.

"So one night, your father and I were sitting there, totally obliterated..."