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Not that anyone will have noticed (hopefully), but I got a phone call that stopped me in my tracks yesterday. My friend Bobby died.
My brain doesn't really know what to make of it. He wasn't that much older than me, for goodness sake. And he was so strong and loud and healthy.
I'm kinda coming up emotionally blank on this one. I know I will be sad eventually, but my gut still hasn't really accepted the fact that he's gone and we'll never sit beside a fire again trading stories and getting drunk of the half gallon of liquor we're SUPPOSED to be GUARDING. (No place safer than in our bellies...)
He found me at the edge of a Timberwolf party 11 years ago and introduced me to pretty much everyone I know in the Swamp. He is probably one of the biggest reasons I kept coming to Pennsic year after year. Had he not introduced me to Kindred and Timberwolf and Rogues, I would not have had so much fun as to invest all the time and energy into this SCA hobby of mine as I have. I would never have met my Friediness.
I haven't seen him around Pennsic for years now... And then just last year, he came back. And we talked and talked. We had lots of catching up to do. I told him what I had been doing for the last 7 years, and he shared with me likewise. Trading stories and experiences and accomplishments, we renewed our friendship last War, and it was one of the few things that actually went RIGHT for me this year. Had I known it was going to be the last time I talked to him, I don't think I would have said anything differently. For that, I will be eternally grateful. He mused that he was proud of the woman I grew into, and I told him that I was pleased with the family man and knight he had become. Gruff though it may have been, we told each other how we felt, and our hearts smiled. We thought we would meet again next year, and even made plans for it. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but I've never really been good at those anyway.
I probably won't feel any way about this for a while yet. Probably not until Pennsic. I will go to a Timberwolf party and he will not be there. Then maybe I will cry.
I will save up stories about him, and when his daughter is old enough, I will tell her. Bobby would like that, I think.
My brain doesn't really know what to make of it. He wasn't that much older than me, for goodness sake. And he was so strong and loud and healthy.
I'm kinda coming up emotionally blank on this one. I know I will be sad eventually, but my gut still hasn't really accepted the fact that he's gone and we'll never sit beside a fire again trading stories and getting drunk of the half gallon of liquor we're SUPPOSED to be GUARDING. (No place safer than in our bellies...)
He found me at the edge of a Timberwolf party 11 years ago and introduced me to pretty much everyone I know in the Swamp. He is probably one of the biggest reasons I kept coming to Pennsic year after year. Had he not introduced me to Kindred and Timberwolf and Rogues, I would not have had so much fun as to invest all the time and energy into this SCA hobby of mine as I have. I would never have met my Friediness.
I haven't seen him around Pennsic for years now... And then just last year, he came back. And we talked and talked. We had lots of catching up to do. I told him what I had been doing for the last 7 years, and he shared with me likewise. Trading stories and experiences and accomplishments, we renewed our friendship last War, and it was one of the few things that actually went RIGHT for me this year. Had I known it was going to be the last time I talked to him, I don't think I would have said anything differently. For that, I will be eternally grateful. He mused that he was proud of the woman I grew into, and I told him that I was pleased with the family man and knight he had become. Gruff though it may have been, we told each other how we felt, and our hearts smiled. We thought we would meet again next year, and even made plans for it. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but I've never really been good at those anyway.
I probably won't feel any way about this for a while yet. Probably not until Pennsic. I will go to a Timberwolf party and he will not be there. Then maybe I will cry.
I will save up stories about him, and when his daughter is old enough, I will tell her. Bobby would like that, I think.
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The thing that is saddest for us and happiest for him is that I don't think he had reason to regret a damn thing. He was goodest and sweetest, and did everything full bore with a naughty twinkle in his eye.