mightyjesse (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mightyjesse) wrote2007-11-26 09:23 am
mightyjesse) wrote2007-11-26 09:23 am
Entry tags:
Holiday Planning:
So, this year, for Christmas, Friedy and I will be going to visit my family in Pittsburgh. It will be lovely to see my family all in the same place, at the same time again - BUT there are a few awkward bits that need to be dealt with in order to see to it that everything runs smoothly. I would hate to spend the entire holiday focused on the glaring differences in religious piety within my family, rather than the IMPORTANT stuff... Like VISITING!
Now that I think I have the puzzle solved, here's the problem: My parents are VERY Southern Baptist. My younger sister is ALSO quite religious. My parents and my religious sister represent ALL of the family that I currently have living in the Pittsburgh area. That means that there is a very limited amount of approval for my lifestyle. My family LIKES my beau, but they don't approve of the fact that we are currently "living in sin." (YAY, SIN!) Thus, if Friedy and I were to stay with family, we would be placed in separate bedrooms. I am TOO OLD FOR THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT.
I sort of understand the reason why Mom would do this, being as my 23 year old brother might be bringing his girlfriend up from Florida. While Mom has resigned herself to the fact that I am the black sheep of the family, she hasn't yet given up on my baby brother... Mostly because he won't go head to head with her on the fact that he disagrees with her. He's taken the passive-aggressive route and thus she still thinks there is a chance that he'll come around.
(Mom has argued with me enough to know that the problem isn't that I'm doing something naughty. The problem is that I don't agree with her on the definition of "naughty." She has also determined that when I think something is naughty, I don't actually do it. So while my morals aren't the same as hers, I DO have some and I DO have a strong enough personality to stick with what I have decided upon... And that's either OK with her, or she has resigned herself to the fact that it's not going to change. Either way, we haven't had a fight about this in quite a few years. Whereas my BROTHER has never explained his opinion to Mom, so she believes that his morality is in a disarray. Because if his morals and hers are the SAME, then clearly he is being naughty. Does that make sense?)
That being the case, and because Mom believes in fairness, if she's going to stick my brother and his girlfriend in separate bedrooms, she'll have to put Friedy and I in separate bedrooms too - simply for the sake of "setting a good example." And honestly, fairness is something I can support. Additionally, because I can't allow Mom to alter my moral structure, I similarly can't expect her to change hers for me.
My solution to this problem has been to call all my friends in Pittsburgh to see who can put me and the Friediness up for the holidays.
Having spent the weekend calling virtually everyone I know in the Pittsburgh area, I finally managed to get a hold of my friend Deena. As it turns out, she will be away during the Christmas holiday, but she was casting about for a cat sitter to take care of her critters while she was away. By some coincidence, I was her default cat sitter when I lived in Pittsburgh. So, Deena will leave me a key to her house, and Friediness and I will have an entire house to ourselves, complete with pets, conveniently located a few blocks from my Sister's house. Deena's kitties will be well cared for and snuggled regularly, Friedy and I will not be forced to forgo "Holiday Sinning," and Mom can continue pretending that I am a mostly normal daughter. Hooray for successful holiday planning and argument avoidance!
Now all we will have to argue about will be which movie we will be watching and who's turn it is to read the Christmas time story. (I'm hoping we read Harry Potter. That'd be a fine story to read by the fire.)
Now that I think I have the puzzle solved, here's the problem: My parents are VERY Southern Baptist. My younger sister is ALSO quite religious. My parents and my religious sister represent ALL of the family that I currently have living in the Pittsburgh area. That means that there is a very limited amount of approval for my lifestyle. My family LIKES my beau, but they don't approve of the fact that we are currently "living in sin." (YAY, SIN!) Thus, if Friedy and I were to stay with family, we would be placed in separate bedrooms. I am TOO OLD FOR THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT.
I sort of understand the reason why Mom would do this, being as my 23 year old brother might be bringing his girlfriend up from Florida. While Mom has resigned herself to the fact that I am the black sheep of the family, she hasn't yet given up on my baby brother... Mostly because he won't go head to head with her on the fact that he disagrees with her. He's taken the passive-aggressive route and thus she still thinks there is a chance that he'll come around.
(Mom has argued with me enough to know that the problem isn't that I'm doing something naughty. The problem is that I don't agree with her on the definition of "naughty." She has also determined that when I think something is naughty, I don't actually do it. So while my morals aren't the same as hers, I DO have some and I DO have a strong enough personality to stick with what I have decided upon... And that's either OK with her, or she has resigned herself to the fact that it's not going to change. Either way, we haven't had a fight about this in quite a few years. Whereas my BROTHER has never explained his opinion to Mom, so she believes that his morality is in a disarray. Because if his morals and hers are the SAME, then clearly he is being naughty. Does that make sense?)
That being the case, and because Mom believes in fairness, if she's going to stick my brother and his girlfriend in separate bedrooms, she'll have to put Friedy and I in separate bedrooms too - simply for the sake of "setting a good example." And honestly, fairness is something I can support. Additionally, because I can't allow Mom to alter my moral structure, I similarly can't expect her to change hers for me.
My solution to this problem has been to call all my friends in Pittsburgh to see who can put me and the Friediness up for the holidays.
Having spent the weekend calling virtually everyone I know in the Pittsburgh area, I finally managed to get a hold of my friend Deena. As it turns out, she will be away during the Christmas holiday, but she was casting about for a cat sitter to take care of her critters while she was away. By some coincidence, I was her default cat sitter when I lived in Pittsburgh. So, Deena will leave me a key to her house, and Friediness and I will have an entire house to ourselves, complete with pets, conveniently located a few blocks from my Sister's house. Deena's kitties will be well cared for and snuggled regularly, Friedy and I will not be forced to forgo "Holiday Sinning," and Mom can continue pretending that I am a mostly normal daughter. Hooray for successful holiday planning and argument avoidance!
Now all we will have to argue about will be which movie we will be watching and who's turn it is to read the Christmas time story. (I'm hoping we read Harry Potter. That'd be a fine story to read by the fire.)
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I hated having My mom do the same thing with me. I solved it by getting engaged, but that's not for everyone... ;)
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Well done for a solution!
Moral judgment or not, adults should be allowed to make that decision for themselves.
I'm lucky my parents are so laid back and unreligious.
Sigh.................
(Anonymous) 2007-12-04 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)xoxoxoxoxoxoxox Blue